Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd is one of my favourite chill out relaxing songs, which I have needed to listen to a lot lately!
This is my 4th week off work and I am beginning to go stir crazy because of having to stay in all day every day with nothing to do but watch TV. Although I have been struggling to stay positive as a trip to the hospital ended up in me being told that this stint of Vertigo may be a chronic thing which will never leave. If that is the case I will have to go through the equivalent of physio in order to regain balance. In addition to that I have been given more tablets which adds up to me having to take 9 a day!
I think for everyone there is only so much you can take before the smile starts to fade and I am definitely getting to that point after so long. I just want someone to come and whisk me away to have some fun or to just cheer me up at least as my days are becoming very monotonous and slow. I think I finally lost the plot last night and couldn’t stop giggling at things which were clearly not funny…so if anyone has any ideas to keep me sane and preventing my mind from turning to mush please enlighten me.
I do have one thing to look forward to…a proper night out for one of my closest friends birthday at the weekend. I have bought a new dress and new shoes in order to make myself feel better and so I will enjoy and make the most of it!!
This blog is more of a negative post unfortunately as I just don’t have a lot going on at the moment so please, if you are reading this do not hesitate in contacting me! You would definitely being doing me a favour! I think that’s all I have to say for now.
Todays song is Rihanna’s Shut up and drive. This song is a kick ass song and one in which makes me just want todrive!
Road trip, now that is definitely something I have on my bucket list. To take a cross America road trip, plan nothing and see what the landscape has to offer. That would have to be something I do with someone I can truly be around 24/7 or perhaps its something I do by myself? I think at one point in anyones life they should take a trip by themselves as we all get too wrapped up in each other and what makes one another happy. Therefore by having some ‘me’ time we can unravel stresses, worries and anything else caused by the hectic day to day lives we all lead.
We are all affected by those around us and they are the ones that shape and mould us to who we become but if we forget who we are then how can we better ourselves.
Thinking about it I think a trip by myself would be a great idea.. realise where I want my life to go as at the moment it is very much up in the air and anyone can change that at any point.
Do we all have a destiny or are we all floating along on the breeze?
So today’s song is Paolo Nutini’s New Shoes. This song brings back great memories and is in almost every Rom-Com that I love!! It also makes me very smiley so what more could you want? Give it a listen at the end and it ties in nicely with this posts topic!
The task I discussed in my last post is ongoing and I am considering a few people to get to know better – there is no point rushing perfection!
I have been a bit too sleepy (because of my medication) to do anything of any vague interest lately therefore I have been looking back at the course I am currently studying. It is a home learning course called “The psychology of Criminal Profiling” in which I will earn a diploma and so far it has been very interesting. I am not sure whether its the fact I want to be in Criminal Minds or that I have always been interested in crime. Once I have completed this course it may give me access to a different career path in the Police or the prison system – slightly different from the degree in Event Management I spent 3 years studying!
Anyway moving on…
At the beginning of the year my brother and his (now) Fiancée moved to New York to follow a dream they had and so far they are living life to the full and it has made me think of moving out of my comfort zone and facing new potentials that my hometown cannot give me. I am very much a homely person but I survived 3 years away from home so how bad can it be? And to follow in my brothers footsteps I have personally taken a big step in applying for an apprenticeship abroad. This is something I thought I could never do but I am no longer satisfied with just waiting for my life to start. I always had a plan of making a career for myself before having a family and I have spent far too long not being career focused. I want to be one of the young women I aspired to when I was a child, who would walk through the streets of London in there pencil skirts and Louboutins shoes!
Every blog shall be titled with a song relating to me and my life and today is a day for Atlas Hands by Benjamin Francis Lefwich.
As I write this I have ideas flowing freely and so I have come to the conclusion to talk mainly about myself in this introduction to my life…and I am sorry for the rambling but as I type I don’t think.. I just write.
This is my first year surviving out in the real world after being in education for 22 years and as much as people tried to prepare me for it, it was always going to be a shock.
Last night my dad came up to me and said “Daughter..are you happy?” and that really made me think. In most aspects of my life I am beyond happy, with my health, my relationships, my family but there is that one part where I am not excelling myself – the work place. I like to challenge myself and so as I am not getting that there.. I will be doing it outside of work and that is partly why I have taken up writing.
We began talking about the past 5 years or so and how it has been a struggle but how now, I feel that it isn’t a part of me anymore. Most people know me to be a strong girl who may not really show whats going on but sometimes I do wish I could open up more to the people I really regard as close friends. I feel as though there are too many people in my life who are there just for the ride and do not wish to truly be a good friend. Through experiencing the tough times I have come to realise I do need to stretch myself and achieve the best I can and so with having those around me who don’t care enough to just ask how I am.. they are just slowing me down.
This is NOT going to be a blog about my past and how I coped with M.E. as I said previously.. it just isn’t a part of me anymore and it was in my past life . It was constantly bringing me down but now I have got the point in life where if it does rear its increasingly ugly head I use it..positively.
In every blog I shall challenge myself to do something which I may not usually push myself to do. However at the moment I am fairly immobile due to a head injury and what not so I have thought of something that doesn’t necessarily have to mean me moving. I am going to talk to someone and get to know them better than I already do..to widen my friendship circle. What could possibly go wrong?!